HobbyKing Forums
Forum Home Forum Home > Hobby King Forums > Off Topic
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed: jokes part deux...
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Calendar   Register Register  Login Login

jokes part deux...

 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 2930313233 57>
Author
Message
  Topic Search Topic Search  Topic Options Topic Options
Sooty View Drop Down
Platinum  (NZ)
USERID: 173750
Hobbyking Addict
Hobbyking Addict
Avatar

Joined: 10/Mar/2009
Location: Christchurch NZ
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4228
  Quote Sooty Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11/Mar/2012 at 4:13pm
A young man decides to have his colonoscopy procedure done in San Francisco because he hears that the young nurses there are better looking.

As she inserts the rubber tube the lovely young thing tells her patient that it is quite normal to experience an erection during the course of this particular procedure.

"No, it's not happening to me" says the patient.

The nurse replies "But it is happening to me."
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes & dreams.
Back to Top
cptn blinky View Drop Down
Platinum  (AU)
USERID: 298454
Hobbyking Addict
Hobbyking Addict
Avatar

Joined: 29/Jun/2010
Location: au broome
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 801
  Quote cptn blinky Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18/Mar/2012 at 9:58pm
How tough are Australian men???

The scene is set:
It’s a dark night, cold wind blowing, campfire flickering, stars twinkling in the dark sky.

Three hang-glider pilots are sitting by the campfire,
One from Australia, one from Seth Efrika and one from New Zulland.

Each embroiled in the bravado for which they are famous.

The night of tales begins...

Kiven the Kiwi says, 'I must be the meanest, toughest, heng glider there es. Why, jist the other day I linded in a field and scared a crocodeale, who came out of the swamp and ate sux min who were standen close by. I grebbed the crocodeale and wristled him to du ground and killed em with my beer hends'

Hansie from Seth Efrika (who typically can't stand to be bettered) said, 'Well you guys, I lended orfter a 200 mile flight in my heng glider on a tiny trail, and a Namibian snike slid out from under a rock and made a move on me. I grebbed de borsted with me bare hinds and beet it's head off ind then sucked the poison from it's body down in one gulp. End I'm still here today'

Colin, the Tough Australian, remained silent, slowly poking the fire with his penis.






Right after a spectacular crash, the pilot yelled out ''Channel 35 clear!

Back to Top
cptn blinky View Drop Down
Platinum  (AU)
USERID: 298454
Hobbyking Addict
Hobbyking Addict
Avatar

Joined: 29/Jun/2010
Location: au broome
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 801
  Quote cptn blinky Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20/Mar/2012 at 10:21pm
ATC quotes.
Allegedly, a Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."

A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."

From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"


The web site.   http://www.businessballs.com/airtrafficcontrollersfunnyquotes.htm

Edited by cptn blinky - 20/Mar/2012 at 10:22pm
Right after a spectacular crash, the pilot yelled out ''Channel 35 clear!

Back to Top
boostoman View Drop Down
Platinum  (OM)
USERID: 488378
HobbyKing aficionado
HobbyKing aficionado
Avatar

Joined: 23/Apr/2010
Location: Muscat, Oman
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 329
  Quote boostoman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31/Mar/2012 at 3:25am
Aircraft Quiz
This should be an easy quiz for those who have even a modicum of knowledge about aircraft

However, the answer may surprise you . . .


The Question:

"What is the primary advantage of rotary-winged aircraft





over fixed-winged aircraft?"

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.





YouTube channel: ***://www.youtube.com/user/BOOSTOMAN
Back to Top
hairykarts View Drop Down
Platinum  (NZ)
USERID: 424820
Hobbyking Addict
Hobbyking Addict
Avatar

Joined: 24/May/2010
Location: auk nz
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 521
  Quote hairykarts Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11/Apr/2012 at 6:08am
I dont think I can better the above ! But

Wife text to husband on cold frosty morning:- Windows frozen.
Husband to wife ;- pour warm water over the screen.

Wife to husband :-

















Now the computer is completely f@@@@@@ed
I must remember .... when inverted .... down is up and up is down .
Back to Top
Blind Vision View Drop Down
Platinum  (DK)
USERID: 52464
Forum Admin
Forum Admin
Avatar
ADMIN

Joined: 21/Oct/2009
Location: DK/Denmark, AMC
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3803
  Quote Blind Vision Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22/Apr/2012 at 2:52pm
LOVE it hairykarts

Back to Top
cptn blinky View Drop Down
Platinum  (AU)
USERID: 298454
Hobbyking Addict
Hobbyking Addict
Avatar

Joined: 29/Jun/2010
Location: au broome
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 801
  Quote cptn blinky Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29/Apr/2012 at 2:17pm
Doctor to Lady during her routine medical examination: "Your heart, lungs, pulse &
BP are fine. Now let me see that little thing which gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble!"

The lady started taking off her clothes . . .

Doctor: "No! No! Don't take off your clothes... JUST SHOW ME YOUR TONGUE!"
Right after a spectacular crash, the pilot yelled out ''Channel 35 clear!

Back to Top
Daithi View Drop Down
Platinum  (GB)
USERID: 1241240
Hobbyking Addict
Hobbyking Addict
Avatar

Joined: 06/Jan/2012
Location: Belfast,Ireland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4824
  Quote Daithi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04/May/2012 at 6:05am
From Model Aircraft back in 1957 - funny how some things never change

Sunday 1. Concours exhibition and general equipment display apparatus on club field.
                                                                                                   .
Sunday 2. Start up engine. Discuss with club pundits technical   difficulties of replacing broken engine bearers and bandaging damaged finger.

Sunday 3. Test glide model. Discuss with club pundits the best means of extricating undercarriage from inside fuselage, and where to locate 2 lb. of lead behind c. of g.

Sunday 4. Test radio.

Sunday 5. Test radio.

Sunday 6. Test radio.

Sunday 7. Fly model with faulty radio removed.

Sunday 8. Fly rebuilt model with rebuilt radio. Discuss wiih club salvage experts how to separate engine from 2 lb. lead weight.



Edited by Daithi - 04/May/2012 at 6:09am
I don't care what it says on the profile - I'm so NOT GB!
Back to Top
snappy View Drop Down
Platinum  (IE)
USERID: 73306
Hobbyking Addict
Hobbyking Addict
Avatar

Joined: 15/May/2009
Location: Ireland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3300
  Quote snappy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/May/2012 at 12:30am
   I'm as happy as a very happy sandboy.
Back to Top
Sooty View Drop Down
Platinum  (NZ)
USERID: 173750
Hobbyking Addict
Hobbyking Addict
Avatar

Joined: 10/Mar/2009
Location: Christchurch NZ
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4228
  Quote Sooty Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/May/2012 at 3:47pm


A man walks into a restaurant with his young son.
He gives the young boy 3 dollar coins to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking and going blue in the face.
The father realizes the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back.
The boy coughs up 2 of the coins, but keeps choking. He must have swallowed all three.

Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit, is sitting at a
coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion,
she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper, and places it on the counter,
gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy's testicles, and starts
to squeeze and twist, gently at first, and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses
violently and coughs up the last dollar coin, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the dollar to the father and walks back to her seat
at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman
and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic.
Are you a doctor?"

'No,' the woman replied. I'm with The Australian Taxation Office'
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes & dreams.
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1 2930313233 57>

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Bulletin Board Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 9.54
Copyright ©2001-2008 Web Wiz

This page was generated in 0.172 seconds.