jokes part deux...

How tough are Australian men???

The scene is set:
It’s a dark night, cold wind blowing, campfire flickering, stars twinkling in the dark sky.

Three hang-glider pilots are sitting by the campfire,
One from Australia, one from Seth Efrika and one from New Zulland.

Each embroiled in the bravado for which they are famous.

The night of tales begins...

Kiven the Kiwi says, 'I must be the meanest, toughest, heng glider there es. Why, jist the other day I linded in a field and scared a crocodeale, who came out of the swamp and ate sux min who were standen close by. I grebbed the crocodeale and wristled him to du ground and killed em with my beer hends'

Hansie from Seth Efrika (who typically can't stand to be bettered) said, 'Well you guys, I lended orfter a 200 mile flight in my heng glider on a tiny trail, and a Namibian snike slid out from under a rock and made a move on me. I grebbed de borsted with me bare hinds and beet it's head off ind then sucked the poison from it's body down in one gulp. End I'm still here today'

Colin, the Tough Australian, remained silent, slowly poking the fire with his penis.

Aircraft Quiz
This should be an easy quiz for those who have even a modicum of knowledge about aircraft

However, the answer may surprise you . . .


The Question:

"What is the primary advantage of rotary-winged aircraft





over fixed-winged aircraft?"

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LOVE it hairykarts

From Model Aircraft back in 1957 - funny how some things never change

Sunday 1. Concours exhibition and general equipment display apparatus on club field.
                                                                                                   .
Sunday 2. Start up engine. Discuss with club pundits technical   difficulties of replacing broken engine bearers and bandaging damaged finger.

Sunday 3. Test glide model. Discuss with club pundits the best means of extricating undercarriage from inside fuselage, and where to locate 2 lb. of lead behind c. of g.

Sunday 4. Test radio.

Sunday 5. Test radio.

Sunday 6. Test radio.

Sunday 7. Fly model with faulty radio removed.

Sunday 8. Fly rebuilt model with rebuilt radio. Discuss wiih club salvage experts how to separate engine from 2 lb. lead weight.



Edited by Daithi - 04/May/2012 at 6:09am

A man walks into a restaurant with his young son.
He gives the young boy 3 dollar coins to play with to keep him occupied.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking and going blue in the face.
The father realizes the boy has swallowed the coins and starts slapping him on the back.
The boy coughs up 2 of the coins, but keeps choking. He must have swallowed all three.

Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit, is sitting at a
coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion,
she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper, and places it on the counter,
gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy's testicles, and starts
to squeeze and twist, gently at first, and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses
violently and coughs up the last dollar coin, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the dollar to the father and walks back to her seat
at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman
and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic.
Are you a doctor?"

'No,' the woman replied. I'm with The Australian Taxation Office'